An Angel's Touch

Please come touch my heart.
If only for a moment.
To remind me of your life
That stirred deep inside mine.
To bring back your beauty,
My faith, and my wishes.

Just one moment I ask for.
Is that too much?
A time to tell you all that you mean
To me, your family, my life, all our dreams.
A brush of your cheek,
A touch to your fingers,
Your eyes into mine,
A smile filled with love.

This moment to tell you
You're loved,
You're remembered.
A second to hold you,
Just a short kiss.
Just one moment,
You came and reminded me
You're here and always are.
In my heart and many others.
You live and leave those kisses,
So that I'll be at peace with this moment I've stolen
And I'll smile and surely cry for all that I've missed.

Are You Mad?

I'm so sorry it's been awhile. I don't want you to think that I don't care. Please don't be mad at Mommy for not writing. You've probably noticed that I don't stay as long at the cemetery as I use to. Sometimes I don't even cry. Maybe I'm starting to heal. But I'll never stop missing you.
So how is it in heaven? I wish I could see it with you. I bet it's beautiful. Just like you. Your my special little boy. I just want to hold you one more time. I know I say it alot but it's something I think about all the time.
I'm so sorry Brody for everything I did wrong. I love you. xoxo

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile. Things have been stressful. I packed your room up. It's the hardest thing I've done since I lost you. All the things you were suppose to have are nice and neatly put away. There is lady who's having a baby boy that wants to buy your stuff. She'll be here Thursday to look at everything. I hope I can be strong and be o.k. with letting it go. I did keep a box of things that were especially for you. One day I will make a scrapbook and have a special box made for all your stuff.

Life has been hard lately. A couple weeks ago Daddy came home crying. He had been to see you and he was upset. He told how much he misses you. I still feel like it's my fault. I wish I knew what happen. I wish I could have saved you.

Mommy decided to go back on anti-depressants. I think I've been worse here lately. I guess they were helping before. I don't want to, but I need help. I need help to be happy and not focus on the guilt so much. I know you're trying to help Mommy. I can feel you sometimes. Mommy trying Brody, but it's so hard.

I love you baby. Wish you were in my arms right now and would give me a big hug. XOXO

Birthday In Heaven

Hi Brody,

So how is my baby? Hope you're happy. You know today is Peyton's Angel/Birthday. I talk to his Mommy all the time. I bet there is a big party going on right now. I wish I could see it. Make sure Peyton send his Mommy love today. She really needs it.

I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to break down like that at the cemetery. I just can't seem to let go of my guilt. I miss you so much that I can't stand it. I wish I could do things all over again. Maybe you would be here right now if I had made different choices. I don't know and I guess I never will.

I love you baby. Wish you were here with me. Have fun today at the Birthday Party. XOXO