Flower for you

Hi honey. Here's a flower for you. It looks like one of the flowers on your grave. I love daisies. I hope you like them too.
Well I did it. All your stuff is gone. I hope your not mad. I just can't take looking at it. Your room is completely empty except for a chair. The chair I was suppose to feed you in and rock you to sleep. It's so hard baby. Please forgive me. I love you.

Today

Today I should be getting you ready for pictures.
Today I should be trying to make you smile.
Today I should be taking you out to lunch because you were such a good boy.
Today should have been a milestone in your life.
Today I should be happy.

Instead I'm here in front of this computer. Writing my pain. Wishing you were here and hating life. 9 months old today. I bet your so handsome. Just like your Daddy. I love you Brody and I'll ache inside until I see you again.

Down

Hi Honey,
I miss you. You know Mother's Day is around the corner and I can't help being down. I wish you were her with me. I'm scared of what the day will bring. I know I'm going to Grandma's house but I hope she doesn't make me feel worse. She can do that sometimes.

I noticed the last time I visited you that another baby was buried. It's so sad. I couldn't help but think of what that mother is going through and how I know all too well. It's not fair Brody. None of this is. Why? I just want to know why?

I love you. Please send me some hugs and kisses on Mother's Day. I need you to help me through it.