Hello Brody,
How was Christmas? I bet you had a wonderful time. Wish I had been there. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I think it's because you were conceived this month 2 years ago. Can't believe it's been that long. I wish I could go back in time and cherish each day I had with you. If I had only known I would have done things so differently. Why didn't I do things differently? I guess I shouldn't dwell on it because there's nothing I can do about it now.
I want to ask you if it's OK that I don't come to grave as often as I use to. I still want to visit you and be near you. It's just that I know you're not there. I wish I knew if you hear me when I'm there. I come to your grave and I'm looking for any sign of you. Nothing ever comes.
I guess Mommy is discouraged and so tired. I'm tired of believing you will give me anything to hold on to. You're gone and I have to learn to accept it. It's so hard baby. I don't want to. I 'm fighting it with everything I got, but when is enough an enough. Please tell me Brody. I miss you so much I just don't know what to do. I love you and I don't want you to be mad at me. So please forgive me if I don't visit as much as I use to. I still love you and you will always be in my thoughts. Forever.
- Brody's Story
- My son, Brody Conner was stillborn. He passed away at 35 weeks due to unknown causes. This blog is dedicated to his memory. The entries are my words to him. Words that I was unable to say to him in this life, but one day will. If you found this blog because you need help with a loss of your own, please visit my links for help. If you would like to talk to me, leave a comment or email me. Thanks for stopping by.
2 comments:
OH MOTHER, MY MOTHER
Oh Mother, my mother
I touch your tears
invisible fingers
soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night,
in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...in your heart
in your soul, I shall always be
for you gave so unselfishly
of yourself.
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me
a world of laughter, of love
of sadness, of sorrow
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never
feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me
nurturing me
preparing me of things to come.
But sometimes the journey
of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on
to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision
I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know
you gave me the courage to
go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same
for you
Your heart beat will always
call me to you.
Love, Brody
You so kindly left a comment on my blog about my son Pax so long ago. I want you to know how much I appreciate that, even though I've not been able to respond until now. I hope you do know that Brody is with you always because you carry him in your heart. This is a difficult journey, isn't it? I hope you are doing well.
Peace & Light...
~Carrie
where are you marie??
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