Hello Brody,

How was Christmas? I bet you had a wonderful time. Wish I had been there. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I think it's because you were conceived this month 2 years ago. Can't believe it's been that long. I wish I could go back in time and cherish each day I had with you. If I had only known I would have done things so differently. Why didn't I do things differently? I guess I shouldn't dwell on it because there's nothing I can do about it now.

I want to ask you if it's OK that I don't come to grave as often as I use to. I still want to visit you and be near you. It's just that I know you're not there. I wish I knew if you hear me when I'm there. I come to your grave and I'm looking for any sign of you. Nothing ever comes.

I guess Mommy is discouraged and so tired. I'm tired of believing you will give me anything to hold on to. You're gone and I have to learn to accept it. It's so hard baby. I don't want to. I 'm fighting it with everything I got, but when is enough an enough. Please tell me Brody. I miss you so much I just don't know what to do. I love you and I don't want you to be mad at me. So please forgive me if I don't visit as much as I use to. I still love you and you will always be in my thoughts. Forever.